


The Facts of Love

by orphan_account



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Love Confessions, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-06
Updated: 2018-11-06
Packaged: 2019-08-19 16:08:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16537844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Pearl finds out the hard way that love isn't at all like those silly fairy tales the humans make up.





	The Facts of Love

Pearl paced back and forth in her room, trying to calm her racing heart. She knew it was time to voice herself, but how could she when her palms wouldn’t stop clamming up and her hands wouldn’t stop shaking?

It was Rose. Always Rose.

Rose made her feel so many things: happiness, worth, freedom. But, along with these came the red-hot passion of jealousy that she felt whenever Rose was around someone else. It wasn’t just when Rose started dating; Pearl would even feel jealous when Rose talked to someone other than her. And Pearl hated herself for it.

It was pathetic, really. Pearl shouldn’t have to depend on someone else so strongly that it almost feels like she’s drowning when Rose is not around. Even when Pearl is next to Rose, she gets so much more awkward than she used to be. She lets the tension between them affect their relationship, which in turn is driving her away even further. Pearl’s own love is self-destructing.

And what is this love, anyway? Love is such a foreign, earthly concept, that Pearl cannot, for the life of her, figure out. Garnet certainly has, and Pearl could never imagine actually going to Garnet to ask for help with this. She knows she should, as getting advice could help soften the blow of jumping into this metaphorical abyss of emotions from which there is no escape. Once Pearl talks to Rose, things can never be the same again. But, perhaps things would be able to go back to the way they were after this if no one found out.

What was Pearl even going to say? ‘Rose, I’ve been in love with you for thousands of years and I don’t even know what that means even though I’ve had such a long time to figure it out but anyway even though I know you like that Universe guy I’m clearly so much better for you,’? Maybe a little slower.

Pearl took a deep breath. Garnet was somewhere at the bottom of the ocean, looking for a corrupted gem that Amethyst accidentally let loose the other week. Rose was in her garden, working on fixing up her fountain. It was the perfect time.

Pearl finally found the courage to leave her room and go to the warp pad, where she transported to Rose’s garden. She lazily strolled through the gardens, taking the long way to the fountain. It was springtime, so the blooming flowers looked exceptionally beautiful in the afternoon sun. There was a light breeze as well. The calming atmosphere helped to soothe Pearl, and it reminded her of Rose’s beauty and kindness.

For the first time, Rose started to think of all the things that could go right. What if Rose does love her back? Pearl would finally be able to touch Rose with confidence, and hug her, and kiss her. Pearl would finally be free of her loneliness and self-doubt. Rose, the loving, gentle girl Pearl has known for so long would finally be hers.

Perhaps they would be like Garnet, preferring to be fused all the time. Pearl did love the feeling of being fused with Rose. She felt strong, and beautiful, and needed. And, knowing that Rose would feel the exact same way would truly make her complete.

Pearl smiled. She was scared, of course, because so much was riding on her words, but if this were to work out, what a bright future was ahead.

Rose was sitting on the edge of the fountain with her fingers in the water. Her hair looked especially full and beautiful in the sunlight, and with her long dress flowing in the breeze and the blooming greenery in the background, it seemed like something out of a fairy tale.

Pearl froze at the sight of her. All at once, the love and desire she felt for this woman flooded her, so much so that she could barely breathe. Yet, it made her smile, because she could stand here and watch her all day.

Rose looked over. “Oh, Pearl, hi! What a nice surprise! Come, sit.” Rose smiled upon seeing her, which made Pearl’s heart flutter in such a strange, pleasant way.

“Hello, Rose,” Pearl began as she sat. “I, uh, wanted to see your garden. It really is beautiful today.”

“Oh, isn’t it? Spring is my favorite time of the year. But, it’s so hard not to love all of the seasons. They all bring something uniquely beautiful to the environment. Pearl, do you have a favorite season?”

“Um, Spring too, I suppose.”              

They sat in silence for a few moments. Pearl took a deep breath.

“Rose, I actually came her because I have something important to talk to you about.”

“Oh, no, is it serious? You do look a little pale, Pearl. Are you okay? Are you sick?” Rose reached out and held Pearl’s cheek, concern in her eyes. Pearl was drawn to her soothing touch.

“Oh, no I’m not sick. But, thank you for your concern. I really appreciate it.”

“Of course, Pearl! I love you, and I really do hate to see you like this.”

Pearl laughed half-heartedly. “I … love you too. So much. So, so much,” she trailed off, feeling tears start to trail down her cheeks.

“Pearl, you’re crying! Please, tell me what’s wrong.”

“It’s you,” she sniffed. “Wait, no, I mean, it’s not your fault, it’s all my fault.” Rose had a sad, confused look on her face. She said nothing, prompting Pearl to continue. “I love you, but, um, not the way I should. I’m … in love with you, Rose. I’m so, so sorry.” Pearl choked, trying to hold back her tears.

There was silence for a moment, deafening silence. Pearl couldn’t bear to look up and meet her eyes. Then, Rose spoke.

“Don’t be sorry, Pearl. Please, please don’t. I just,” Rose sniffled, trying not to cry as well. “I’ve put you through so much pain, haven’t I?”

Pearl looked up, confused. “What, no, I-“

“No, let me finish, please. You seem so afraid of love, and I hate that, because love is so _wonderful._ I want you so badly to experience that the way it’s meant to be. But,” she paused, looking away. “I can’t be that for you. I don’t feel it. I wish that I could so badly, but I just … don’t.”

Rose looked back at Pearl in concern. Pearl was nodding at the ground. She understood. Of course she couldn’t expect Rose to feel that way about her. It was foolish, really, to think that a former Diamond would fall for her pearl. So _stupid._

Pearl cleared her throat. “I, um, I understand. I know I can’t make you feel something you don’t.” Pearl looked around. “I should go home.”

Pearl stood up and tried to walk away, but Rose grabbed her by the arm and spun her around. Pearl was trying her hardest to not start bawling. All she wanted to do is go home, and maybe try out one of those “naps” that Amethyst is so fond of.

“Wait, Pearl. I’ll let you go, but promise me something. Promise you won’t run away from love because of me, okay? I know it’s gonna be hard, but you can do it. You’re so strong, Pearl. I care for you so much, and I couldn’t bear to see you so destroyed. And, I’ll always be there for you, no matter what, okay?”

Pearl nodded, trying hard to smile. Rose hugged her, and Pearl weakly hugged back. “Okay. I promise.”

Rose smiled. “Good. I’ll see you at home, Pearl.” She turned around and went back to sit on her fountain.

As Pearl walked away, she turned around one more time to see Rose, who was watching the sunset with an inscrutable look on her face. She still looked so beautiful.

When Pearl got back to the safety of her room, she sat down on the water and placed her head in her hands. Where would she go from here? Would this empty feeling ever go away?

She sat, thinking, for a very long time. This was the part where she was supposed to get over Rose, and find satisfaction within herself. But how, when the only image that flooded her mind was that of Rose, crying as she told Pearl she didn’t love her?

But, Rose also said that Pearl was strong. Pearl knew better of course. A strong gem wouldn’t fall victim to these feelings and let it consume them.

Although, perhaps Rose believing in Pearl would be enough.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments and kudos are always appreciated.


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